Hash browns and baked beans

In the travel accommodation sense, I'm not really used to luxury. 17-bed dorms and motorhomes in -12 deg C are not really the Ritz. They are interesting in their own special way but it's not silver service, complimentary shoe shine, a concierge and a 7pm turn down with Belgian chocolates. But I'm a business traveller now and I don't make my hotel choices and more importantly, I don't pay the bill.

It's my third week in Cologne and I'm currently in my third different hotel. Week one saw 3 nights in the Intercontinental. Week 2 saw 3 nights in the Crowne Plaza and this week sees 4 nights in the Marriott.

So how do I compare 3, what I deem judging by the price, high class hotels?

I could tell you about the gymnasiums. 'Hot as a sauna and free of charge' in the Crowne Plaza. 'Free of charge and not too hot' in the Marriott. 'Too expensive for me to even set foot inside the door but it looked nice in the photos' at the Intercontinental.

We could talk shoe shine facilities. Leave your shoes outside the door at the Intercontinental and someone (I'm guessing a type of shoe cleaning fairy) cleans them. In the Marriott you get to stick your foot under the rotating brush by the lift. In the Crowne Plaza you have a cloth that you have to wipe over your shoes yourself. (I didn't bother.)

Pillows would be a good reference point. In the Intercontinetal I got 4 of them but they were almost as big as sofa cushions. In the Crowne Plaza I had 4 but spread across 2 beds. Here in the Marriott I have 7. I have no idea what to do with them so I just throw 5 of them on the floor when I go to bed and the next day when I come home from work they are immaculately re-positioned ready for me to throw on the floor again.

I've found the only true way to rate a hotel. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I have no idea who 'they' are but when anything wise is quoted, 'they' are often credited for it. Such as "They say you should never use your hand as a hammer" That's good advice because it can hurt so they must have some sense to them. So if 'they' say it is important then I'm listening.

To be honest they are all pretty much the same. Fruit (not that I have anything to do with that), cereal, bread, pastries, cheese, cold meats (including rare roast beef in the Marriott - It's nice but not really a breakfast thing) yogurt, coffee, hundreds of varieties of tea, hard boiled eggs, soft boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages. I feel I need to clarify something to everyone before I continue. This isn't a list of what I eat every morning, it's just a list of what is available. Ok? The winner by far in the breakfast stakes is the Crowne Plaza and the reasons are...hash browns and baked beans. The others don't have them. In fairness the Crowne Plaza is a hotel full of UK/US citizens in Cologne on business and I guess it's just catering to the desires of its guests. I love it!

The reason I've been in 3 different hotels is because the normal hotel of the company's choice has been full on occasions. Fortunately for me (the hash brown and baked beans addict) the normal hotel is the Crowne Plaza. Looks like the shoes will be staying dirty for a while!